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"Why Doesn't She Just Leave?" The Psychology of Intimate Partner Violence
Length: 1 Hour
Intimate partner violence (IPV) victims are often criticized for not leaving their abusive partners, and they are viewed as being complicit in their abuse. The Why Doesn’t She Just Leave? presentation answers this question with new research that reveals how abusers do not recognize fear and sadness in female faces and the grooming tactics the abuser utilizes to trap their victim. Victim focused research has led to victim blaming theories such as learned helplessness, Stockholm Syndrome, co-dependence, Cycle of Violence, and traumatic bonding. Offender focused research has led to a new model for the etiology of an IPV relationship, which is the victim is targeted from the first date, groomed, abused, re-groomed to stay, and subsequently re-abused and groomed. Victims are groomed to feel responsible for the relationship and become trapped by fear, children, financial, and emotional tethers such as faith, afraid to be alone, shame, loss of extended family and friends. The abuser will isolate the victim and make her completely dependent upon him. A skillful abuser works unseen, and even the most competent person is at risk of being abused. When we educate victims about the grooming process and make them aware of the tactics being used against them, the victim can begin to think more clearly and can formulate a plan for escape. With education and support every abused woman can find her own path to freedom.
Objectives: After this presentation, attendees will be able to:
- List seven (7) grooming steps an abuser utilizes to trap their victim.
- Summarize at least three (3) steps a victim must take to escape an abusive relationship.
- Write a safety plan for a victim.
*This presentation was originally recorded at IVAT’s 20th Hawai`i International Summit on Preventing, Assessing & Treating Trauma Across the Lifespan, April 24th-April 28th, 2023 in Honolulu, Hawai`i*
Sharon Bussing, MA, LPCC, Trauma-informed, Strengths-Based Counselor
Sharon Bussing, MA, LPCC, is a trauma-informed, strengths-based counselor. She earned a master’s degree in Clinical Mental Health Counseling and a bachelor’s degree in psychology with a minor in criminology from the University of Northern Colorado. Before attending graduate school, Sharon was a victim advocate for 4 years with 2 different law enforcement agencies in Colorado and the co-chair for the Weld County Domestic Violence Coalition. Sharon’s presentations on “Why doesn’t she just leave?” The Psychology of Intimate Partner Abuse teaches how an intimate partner abuser targets and entraps his victim. Sharon weaves her own personal story of entrapment in a 26-year abusive marriage with the science of how entrapment and coercive control compels a victim to stay with their abuser. She provides information and key tips on how you can help a victim escape from their abusive relationship and find healing.
